6 posts tagged “college”

what do you do when you attain something you've been striving after for years...and it isn't what you thought?  sure i have a specific topic in mind for this question - right now, it's school, but i think this could apply to a number of situations. 

so...school.  getting into a great graduate program for my MLIS has been a goal for, like, four years.  i do well with goals, i like them, knowing what you're going for helps to shape where you're at.  and i've achieved that goal.  i'm in my program of choice.  it's...just not what i thought it would be.  granted - i'm not even a full quarter in and we were told time and again that the first quarter sucks, just make it through the dark tunnel and the sun will start shining again. but still...  so many things aren't what i thought they would be...and it makes me wonder...is it the program? or is it me?  the thing is...i'm a great student (or at least i used to be) i do academia quite well.  i get it.  i care.  but...not with this.  i love that my life isn't about school and that i'm not crazy stressed like i used to be.  but...part of that is a result of not being invested (other than financially - seriously - ouch) or terribly motivated...which is just...weird.  cause like i said, getting here a defining factor of my life.

i'm gonna stick it out for a while. hope that this next quarter is better. but what if it's not? what then?

Well, I got great news this week:  I've been accepted to my grad school of choice - UW.  This fall I will start working on my Masters in Library and Information Science.  w00t!  I'm psyched and nervous to be re-entering academia.  I hope that I quickly find the right balance between work, school, and life.  One of the things I'm most excited about is that even though I'll be getting my degree through a distance program, I won't be alone.  I'll be joined by a few great local librarians, including D!  loved getting my English Lit degree, but I've waited years to be studying this.

It will surely be *deep husky whipser* the most phenomenal library science program ever created. 

Well, Lamassu and I were up late last night finishing our capstone project.  I may be super tired and getting sick but it's done.  DONE.  YaY.  OMG I'm so thrilled that my last project is finished.  Such a relief.  Tomorrow I'm going to graduate.  That's right, in a little over 24 hrs I will be a college graduate.  So weird.  I'm so thankful that I've been able to make it this far.  There were def times I didn't think I would get to the end of this road. Now that I'm here though, I'm exhilarated and nostalgic.  I'm also just praising God.  He got me through.  There were so many days and nights where I was crying out to Him for help, for endurance, for peace - and He was there.  I can say with all assurance that I wouldn't have made it without my Lord.

THANK YOU.  My friends and family also had a huge part in me making it.  You guys have seen me through some crazy, tweetchy times.  Hopefully CrazyPants will be around a lot less often...until next year that is.  Oy.

Good question.  Different reasons on different days.  This day - and most of this week probably - it's because of the EMA Fall Banquet.  I (the officers will help too) have to get final numbers on attendees and entree counts, decide on salad and dessert, remember who has and hasn't paid me, work up seating arrangments, work out a meal ID system, make name cards for each person attending, figure out what extra equipment we'll need and how much that's going to cost,  figure out how much this whole thing is going to cost us, gather all the money, make the deposit, send out a reminder email, buy new shoes, be fully prepared to act out a scene from a play as part of the presentation...is there anything else?  I hope not.

I can't complain though (and I'm not really, mostly just listing) because this is one of the highlights of the semester for me.  For most people attending its just a nice thing to do on a Friday night.  For me though this is something that's really important and a big accomplishment.  Before last year the EMA was a pretty inactive group.  They got together once a semester or so, went to a conference, and had a book sale, but from what I can tell that's about it.  Last year (when I was VP)  we had a whole new set of officers and a new advisor and we were fired up about the possibilites and potential.  One of the things we organized was the first EMA Fall Banquet - along with a lot of other firsts.  This year (I'm the Pres now)  we are having our 2nd Annual EMA Fall Banquet - over 50 professors and students will be attending.  I think this is a tradition that will carry on.  I hope so anyway.  It's really important to me to be part of creating functions and traditions that will continue on and effect the department long after I'm graduated.  I think I've succeeded in that.  I can honestly say that I feel that I have been part and leader of a group that has had a positive effect on the Department and has created forums for community and involvement.

I'm really going to miss all this...

I cannot wait until it's tomorrow afternoon and all the crazyness of this week is done with.  So much to do and so little sleep to do it on. AHHHH.  I guess I better go write that paper...

Ahhhh!  Why?! Why do we have to make such big and hard decisions?  Why can't we do it all? (yeah...that was rhetorical)  I am often finding myself torn between wanting to be a librarian and wanting to continue my English Lit education.  I love learning and thinking about lit, especially the medieval stuff, and I even enjoy formulating my thoughts through writing, presentations, and mini lectures.  I would really enjoy being a professor - no highschoolers thank you - but I also feel called to librarianship.  And in all practicality I can't do both.  I'm already going to be in school for at 7-9 years.  I don't think I could go another 5 or 6.  At some point you have to apply what you're doing, not just learn about it.  I just wish there was some nice, inexpensive way to do it all - or I didn't feel so strongly about both.  I'm going with the library thing because I love it, feel called to it, and it's more practical for me, but it's still tough.

I think it's especially tough because I'm graduating in a few months.  It's very scary and sad to think this part of my life is almost done.  I don't want it to be but I know that (at least at this stage in the game) without the structure of school and deadlines, I don't study this stuff on my own.  I guess that's something I want to change about myself eventually.  I want to be discipled enough to read Joyce's Ulysses and Dostoevsky's Brothers Karamazov and Virgil's Aeneid on my own and to seek out interaction and discussion of the works.